Me A Mere Mortal

Alhamdulillah..

Still have the chance to breathe this refreshing tranquilizing air though possibly My Creator could at anytime call me upon Him,lying down in the darkness of my own grave..

SAYA IHTIRAM KAMU!

Back when I was still in my secondary school,there were not many people I had befriend with.And alhamdulillah I was very aware that Allah granted me with a very brave heart to be just as plain as myself and alhamdulillah the essence of innocence in me was being replaced by mere but all-of-us-should-have-things;common sense!Many would have always seen we were doing things together;me and Azni Nabela.And at this instance,I was wondering have I ever be of any good friend at least to her,whom I regard as my best friend!

Few years have I gone through and I was reluctant to see the darkest side of them as my failures but to bear them as lessons to be pondered upon when I embark my journey of life as His slave.

I met a lot of people,each of them is Allah's Greatest Gift towards me and I learned a lot in this journey.A lot of things to make me realize the importance of applying your basic Islamic studies;the easiest subject to have a go and voila you would easily get a perfect score just by memorizing them!But,life is like a roller-coaster,you will masterly not fathom this simple concept as it is a piece of cake!

INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHTS

Yeah,a piece of cake indeed but what matters the most is how you live your life to the fullest!These few days,I think a lot as I did my revision for my exams which I as a mere human being,always commit the same mistakes and I regret them very-very much.May Allah Forgives me for my wrongdoings and give me a chance to redeem myself,to be much better person from before.Allah,have pity on me please?I know I have wronged You in many possible ways but it is not a sin to seek your Kindness,Your Love and Understanding..

And yesterday,as I was walking down the road with Illiyyin,there was a big-blue bin lying,faced-down on earth waiting for any creatures to help 'it' regained its initial position so that anyone (passer-by) won't find it hard to walk in the pavement on the side of the Filey Road.Only a very simple deeds of good would not harmed us,stop yourself there and reaching our your two-hands which Allah has blessed all of us with and then lower down your body to the bin's level,and grab it with your hands and pushed it to its position should-be.Easy does it..

I was very touched by Umar Al-Faruq's as he quoted a saying that went like this:

Taqwa is like you are walking in the thorny paths,you make sure your clothes,any single part of you be it your shoes,your bare skin,you named it,to not having a single contact with the thorns.

I forgot who is the perawi (hermm,want to polish my vocabulary after this~)of this hadith but I was determined that I want to learn beyond mastery.O Allah please make it easy for us and for me in our struggling to be a faithful servant of You!

MY CRUSH

By the way I like Umar very much as if if he does exist in my time,Iwant to get married to him!No kidding,I am still in love with him since in secondary school.When I heard stories about him,my heart is filled with an ample amount of adoration and admiration as I strolled down his past time,he started against the words of Muhammad Rasulullah SAW but with Allah's bless,He was showered with His Lights till he came to his position as we were told in lots of Sirah's books,a man who had the ability to reside between haq and batil-Al Faruq..

And still not remembering which verses in the Quran,Allah said that He will bless us with the ability to tell between haq and batil if we are in the position of possessing taqwa towards Allah!!

CAME TO MYSELF

Subhanallah..

And I believe I was and am the last person on Earth lining in the queue with reference to my deeds and when I think about this,I hate myself even more and more..

I did study Islam,haram and halal,I know those things,but when I looked back,I asked myself bluntly,what have I done to nurture Islamic teachings in me,NOTE in ME?!!

A sinusoidal graph had I plotted to demonstrate on my faith fluctuations~~ (this is the basic graph of mortal like me;many downs than ups as I know myself)

I feel helpless right now,thinking of how I wish to return to the earlier time and undone many things that dirtied my precious heart and hands,not to commit any sins just to hide your faults from others,not to be of bad image to His Religion..

How I wishh...

How I wish to practice itsar,the ultimate level of silaturrahim,ukhwah though very often,to be a big-hearted person is very challenging itself,to simply cover your feelings and acts like nothing happen.For me that is not a mere act of hypocrisy as to not being as a Muslim by conducting any laws unparallel to Islamic teachings is HYPOCRITE!

What laws did you learned to just simply work your way to any direction WITHOUT analysing the nature of the road or path you will be taken;is there any obstacles there for example a girl,so that you won't by accident stumbled into her by slightly pushing her or only in a range of nanoinches to her where you can feel her coat or clothes for example.I hate this situation and how I wish I will be able to get out of this heart-sickening situation!

And to be in the front row in lecture hall is so amazing but the thoughts of having to sit closer to guys always put me in jeopardy as I have to be in my best behaviour as a muslim girl but I know that was far from the truth and I hate myself,I hate myself ,till I purposely slap my face many times as a punishment!And the thicker coats we were wearing will always never failed to amaze me as if they were SOO GIGANTIC till you will get a score of 100 % perfectly for successfully keeping your records of brushing against others' coats,clothes and other things,which are in the same species with these!

O Allah my heart suffered a lot,my nafs is enjoying all of this but my poor little iman is too weak even a word,would it be unable to blurt.Allah,please save me from my evil desire as I am too weak to conquer it.Only You,Allah can help me in this battle,jihad besar fighting against my monstrous,worldly-bounty devouring desire..

What will You think of me ya Allah??I wonder in my own thoughts..

"Barangsiapa Allah menginginkan kebaikan buatnya,Allah akan mengurniakan kefahaman (dalam agama) buat dirinya" (al-hadis)

O Allah,kurniakan kami kefahaman dalam agama,kefaqihan ke atas feqah yang kami pelajari di sekolah dahulu supaya kami dapat membumikan jati diri seorang Muslim sejati di atas bumi-Mu ini ya Allah.Bantulah kami insan lemah yang tidak mampu walau sedikitpun to totally mengawal nafsu kami wahai Tuhan Yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang..

Amiin..

These Few Days

Alhamdulillah,cant wait for summer next year =D..I want to go somewhere but then lets keep it a secret shall we?

This winter,I got stonewalled not knowing which way to go but still I'll make sure I go to somewhere..

I dont want to go back to Malaysia in summer as I plan to go there~biiznillah insya-Allah

Still I havent decided yet,whether to stick to those whom were with me right at the beginning or the one whose I heard of about them from a friend of mine in Adelaide..

Havent discussed with my mas'ulah in Malaysia though I really miss her a lot like ages had I ever seeing her and talking with her or even texting her..She was and is a very goood murobbi..kak affizah,sayang sgt dekat akak..sangatt sangattt..Sorry for this retarded mind of mine in disregarding my earlier seeemed to be:decision of being in the same roof of yours..I am very sorry,I got confused and take a stand against you and all the words that once I was agreed with..I want the best out of me,for both sides..I want to make it fair and square,no hurting others et al..

And futur won over me..Still I havent made up my numbing-mind concerning this issue..Akak,ciri-ciri nyer pe ye?Y did I went against you whom dearest to me??How could I?My shifted paradigm got its stand on its own,instantaneously since it knew where to initiate the facts-analyzed process..Are they facts or some kind of rumours having spread out by an irresponsible individual intentionally to create a mess,disrupting our not so covalently bond or is it ionic??

Idealism isnt my intention as there's a slight chance of getting astray from the true path..If isnt based on the syariah.And my mu'amalat was and am getting worn out,tak tsiqoh-stricken which flare up my iman saying lots of things to not being done in the past though within a split second in time..

Backbone??Dun quite understand bout that..Referring back to Sirah was a good way to look but still got blank..The people inside subhanallah but considering the approach made me having a second thought..Or was it that I think too much of it??

Just wait and see I guess,permudahkan ye ya Allah..amiin

These few days I am depending on these items which actually only a part of the actual items in hand~Continuity in coughing too significant resulting in a dependency to an inhaler due to the asthma presumed by GP~

~my medicines since living here~

I got this during Freshers camp in notts and really like it so cute right??Get way too excited to recite it every day~

~cute little ma'thurat during FC in notts~

Wallahua'lam..

Rambling

Alhamdulillah,even though I was kinda exhausted as well as dead beat but then the lectures were worthwhile to be attended..And not to mention,multiple times had I closed my eyes so that my sleepy eyes would have some rest so that I can continue listening and comprehend all the facts murmured by my beloved lecturers.

To be honest,I was so grateful to be given such nice and sweet lecturers,with good-tempered plus brightening-my-day smile all I could wished for them was may Allah bless them for their effort just for the sake of giving their students very predcious knowledge that won't be acquired elsewhere..

Despite of light headache,I was quite happy as He gave me the very beautiful feeling of understanding the knowledge/subjects I've learned.Alhamdulillah,I was on cloud nine,hehe,grabbing in all the valuable facts that I could digest the moment they blurted out the words..

And I was lucky to have great friends with brilliant mind,they were always there when I got stonewalled,the usual tutors to turn to,Isho and the list goes on.Alhamdulillah,praise be upon Him.I was aiming for higher marks for this final and I hope I can cope with all the subjects etc,not to mention assignments plus lab reports,hehe

I love fluid,design,material,math,cpp,thermo,I do really love them very much=)Uhibbukum fillah hubban jamma!Ya Allah,permudahkan ye ya Allah,tsabatkan hati ini pada jalan-Mu..amiin2 ya Rabbal 'alamiin..

I was young,hehe but then I wanted to be like Usamah,Mus'ab and Ali..And of course Al-Fatih and Al-Banna=D..Amiin

Verily, the Muslims (those who submit to Allâh in Islâm) men and women, the believers men and women (who believe in Islâmic Monotheism), the men and the women who are obedient (to Allâh), the men and women who are truthful (in their speech and deeds), the men and the women who are patient (in performing all the duties which Allâh has ordered and in abstaining from all that Allâh has forbidden), the men and the women who are humble (before their Lord Allâh), the men and the women who give Sadaqât (i.e. Zakât, and alms, etc.), the men and the women who observe Saum (fast) (the obligatory fasting during the month of Ramadân, and the optional Nawâfil fasting), the men and the women who guard their chastity (from illegal sexual acts) and the men and the women who remember Allâh much with their hearts and tongues (while sitting, standing, lying, etc. for more than 300 times extra over the remembrance of Allâh during the five compulsory congregational prayers) or praying extra additional Nawâfil prayers of night in the last part of night, etc.) Allâh has prepared for them forgiveness and a great reward (i.e. Paradise).(Al-Ahzab:35)

It is not for a believer, man or woman, when Allâh and His Messenger have decreed a matter that they should have any option in their decision. And whoever disobeys Allâh and His Messenger, he has indeed strayed in a plain error.(Al-Ahzab:36)

My priority is Allah,so I have to be steadfast,I won't turned back,my nafs would say,you will regret etc. but then I won't regret and I dont want to regret because He is always there,I have to be good so that He will love me..All I want and long for is His Approval,only His Gaze matters most to me,no need to concern about others because I live my life all this while for Him so no need to bother others,hehe

Don't get me wrong,and I'm pretty sure my fellow readers would understand things that I wanted to deliver=).Till then,live your life to the fullest,for Him,Allah The Almighty=)

Sentiasalah bersyukur kerana masih mempunyai 'hati'..Dan hati itu digerakkan oleh-Nya pada jalan yang PASTI!

Dan sentiasalah bersangka baik pada mereka yang hatinya belum lagi digerakkan ke arah itu kerana sesungguhnya Dialah yang Berkuasa Membolak-balikkan hati kita semua..

Alhamdulillah,dicampakkan sedikit kefahaman dan hikmah out of His Plentiful Knowledge that we came to know and realize why things the way they are..

Walaupun hati sentiasa tertanya2,"why they were like that even though they knew",ingatlah diri kamu jua begitu kerana Muslim as a whole belum lagi tercapai olehmu..Berdoalah semoga kita bersama2 beroleh hidayah yang menggerakkan hati kita to commit good deeds thus be revealed in our actions continuously!Insya-Allah..

Hidayah itu milik Allah,no need to say that hanya kerana kamu begini,begitu,you are far much better than others..Not necessarily,things can be the other way around dear..ighfirli ya Allah..

Have been given a mind to think,use it to differentiate between good and bad and tell yourselves many times a day,never give up as He does not like one with that attitude!Hingga boleh jatuh ke taraf kafir..

As if you berputus asa dalam mencari rahmat-Nya sedangkan He promises us with plenty of good things once we work our way into that.Never give up because He is always there,and will be always there..

Do not always think but do not come out with solution in the form of action because action should speaks louder than words..And always,a very typical phenomenon,empty vessel makes the most noise!

Things to ponder..

Happy Reading!

Bismillah..

Alhamdulillah,quite a very hectic month with a pile of lab. reports to be submitted before the due date given.

After having dinner with Sheffield's people back on 23rd April last week,I was staying in Anis's aunt's house.That was the second for me and the first for Wani=))..

On the next day,we were heading for PWTC as I was very determined to buy a few books written by Ustaz Hasrizal and not to forget my favourite writer,Fatimah Syarha bt Noordin..

Aiming only to buy 3 books but ended up with 5 books=).Those books were:

1. Pemilik Cintaku Setelah Allah & Rasul by Fatimah Syarha
2. Aku Terima Nikahnya 2:Bercinta Sampai Ke Syurga by Ustaz Hasrizal
3. Nota Hati Seorang Lelaki by Pahrol Mohd. Juoi
4. The Golem-A World Held Hostage by Michael Collins Piper
5. Have already read this,have none in my collections-Tautan Hati by Fatimah Syarha

Alhamdulillah,I also managed to buy this books entitled Men Are From Mars,Women Are From Venus by John Covey.

Yup,I admit that some books that I had bought seems to be too matured for me despite of my age but then I am determine to stick with the principle of 'find the knowledge wherever you go'..Many thanks to Fairuz for encouraging her friends to buy books not only to borrow from others to read them..

Up till now,I have finished reading the first book not to mention I read it when I was in the LRT if I'm not mistaken from PWTC to Seremban.Even though the book seems to have a not soo thick figure yet the content inside was soo remarkable and refreshing for us as a teenager..I suggest you have to buy this book as it will help you to a better understanding about how to be a steadfast person in maintaining your virtues,in guarding your mu'amalat and last but not least to focus on your priorities.

The book entitled Aku Terima Nikahnya is not a book revolving only about how to get married and the list goes on..It is all about how to lead a blissful life with your bride-to-be or groom-to-be by having a rightful way finding one.And this book also reveal the responsibility once after the HUSBAND said 'AKU TERIMA NIKAHNYA..'

Talking about 'The Golem',this book is about Israel's nuclear bomb and the study of the'Israelization' of American foreign policy and its implications for the survival of mankind..Huhu,a book of 'Israelization'..

And for those whom interested in a light plus enjoyable material,Nota Hati Seorang Lelaki is the most suitable one..This book is a picture of 'produk tarbiyah' where I could say kind of' this book-Chicken Soup For The Soul as it represents to you multiple of interesting stories about great people surrounding us yet we did not know because they keep a very down to earth life=)..Ibrahnya,never underestimate a person..

Last but not least,reading is actually a very useful way of expanding your knowledge BUT be very careful in choosing the materials of your reading materials=)..Happy reading!

~Forgot to buy Rindu Bau Pohon Tin by Ustaz Hasrizal=(~